Facing Fear
by Giantpanda
Summary: Companion To Afraid of the Dark. A walk in the jungle allows Shannon to see more about Sayid.


TITLE: Facing Fear  
RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: A walk in the jungle allows Shannon to see more about Sayid.  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.

Thanks to mrstater for the idea and the push to write this and for the grammar checks.

Shannon awoke to voices outside her tent. She tried to place her pillow over her head as she would have at home, but it was useless. Didn't they have any respect for the fact that she was trying to sleep? Ever since Sayid had helped her move her tent, she had been sleeping better, but she was still trying to catch up on all that she missed.

She rolled over onto her back stretching her arms over her head. She smiled as she thought of the reasoning that Sayid had given Boone when he had asked why her tent was being moved so close to his. Sayid had said that it was because the sunlight was creeping into her tent and waking her up too early, which of course was the exact opposite of why he was moving it, but she was grateful that he had lied to Boone for her. She no longer had any need to be afraid of the dark. The glow of the fire and the knowledge that Sayid was right there were the best security blanket she could ever ask for.

She wondered briefly what time it was because, she had told Sayid that as a thank you for helping her move, she wanted for them to go for a walk and then eat together. She knew it wasn't how she normally thanked people, but on an island there really wasn't much choice and he seemed happy with the suggestion.

Shannon was a little concerned about the walk, because she was unsure how to act around Sayid now that she had moved beyond simply crushing on him and was beginning to fall for him. She tried to shake the thoughts out of her head, but they remained. She didn't know why Sayid would want to spend time with her voluntarily, but there had been a few occasions where he had sought her out. Every time she was with him, she always expected him to realize that he was wasting his time with her. She wasn't worth his energy.

But then she would think of his smile and those eyes, which she could spend hours just staring into, and she would stop thinking all those thoughts. She just wanted to enjoy this while she could, before she screwed it up.

In an effort to keep this friendship going, Shannon had developed a few rules for herself. She was not in any way going to act on any of her feelings for Sayid. He had to be the one to act first, not that she expected him to. Their relationship was mainly a business one, with her helping him with the maps. Yet lately they'd spent more time talking and less time translating. That had to mean something, didn't it? Sayid didn't seem like the type to waste precious work time with socializing.

She sighed; she wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. A knock on her tarp door startled her.

"Are you ready to go?" Sayid asked.

She bolted up. How long had she been lying there, thinking? "Give me a minute."

She had to get dressed quickly so he wasn't out there waiting too long and would then decide to leave. But she also had to look good for him, ugh, no, she had to dress as if they were just friends. She froze, realizing she had no idea how to dress for just-friends.

She didn't have time for this. She quickly tore through her clothing to find something appropriate and practical, throwing clothes all around. Finally she decided on a shirt, but first she had to shake the sand out of it.

She exited her tent some time later and looked around anxiously for Sayid. She was relieved when she saw him sitting outside of his tent.

He smiled at her, "I was beginning to suspect that you had fallen back asleep."

"I didn't know what to wear for a jungle trek." She bit her lip. "I didn't take that long, did I?"

"Longer than the minute you asked for."

Her cheeks flushed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you waiting."

"I did not mind." He glanced over at her, "I believe I was able to solve the mysteries of this island, so it was very beneficial."

She balled her hands into fists, feeling threatened by his words; he was making fun of her as others always did. But when she looked up at him, she was able to see the laughter in his eyes that he was trying to suppress.

Suddenly his expression became concerned. "Shannon, you know I was only teasing, don't you?"

"I know." she offered him a weak smile. "I was just trying to tease you back by seeming upset."

He looked uncertain, as if he was afraid that he had really offended her. Shannon cursed herself for getting so defensive so quickly when she had made him wait. It was just that in his words, she heard Boone telling her that she was making them late for whatever event they were going to.

"Are you ready to go for a walk?" she asked.

He nodded as he motioned for her to lead. They walked in silence for a while as they made their way to the edge of the forest. Shannon made Sayid go in first. If there was any thing creepy going on there, she was not going to be the one to find it. Sayid had been a soldier; he would know better than her what to do.

Once she realized that it was in fact safe, she walked beside him. She tried to ignore how close he stood to her, his arm occasionally brushing against her. She was tempted to take his hand, but didn't think that was what friends did. Instead she crossed her arms around her waist, unsure what else to do with them. She tried to remember a time when she had been alone with a guy that wasn't in a club or in a bedroom and she couldn't think of one. This was all a new experience for her.

She glanced at Sayid from time to time and studied his expression. What was he thinking? She wished she knew him better. His eyes held that far-away look they often did, though today it was different; the sadness she noticed when he thought no one was watching was absent. She wondered if she had anything to do with that.

She stopped suddenly when she saw a beautiful yellow flower resting against the bushes. She thought it was odd for this one flower to be there and she thought about picking it. Sayid stood a few feet away waiting for her.

Shannon bent down to get a closer look when she noticed a snake slithering out from the bush. She looked over at Sayid and saw that he wasn't paying attention to her. She smiled; it was now time for her to find out if he was really afraid of snakes. She noticed a small stick and picked it up. She was not going to touch this snake with her bare hands, especially when she couldn't scrub her hands enough times to get the germs off.

Her brow creased in concentration and she realized that it was not an easy thing to try and pick up a snake. She smiled as she thought she finally had it, but instead she ended up flinging it over her head. She froze as she realized that it might have gone right to where Sayid was.

She turned slowly to find Sayid standing completely still, the snake draped over his shoulder, flicking its tongue in and out at his face. Her eyes widened in shock when she saw how incredibly pale he looked. After everything that had happened on the island, she had never seen him look so frightened.

Shannon moved quickly over to where he stood stiff and unmoving. She used her hand to brush the snake away. Sayid's chest heaved with quick, shallow breaths and she could feel his heart pounding. The fear in his eyes didn't leave.

"Sayid, I am so sorry," she said rapidly. "I didn't mean for that to happen." She gently led him away from the area. "Did you fall into a train car of snakes as a child?" she asked, hoping to make him laugh. On his confused look she sighed dramatically, "Pop culture references are completely lost on you aren't they?" She went to sit down under the tree and when he didn't move, she looked around, "No snakes here, you're okay."

He sat down beside her and she was relieved to see that the color had returned to his face and his breathing had returned to normal.

"I really am sorry, I wasn't trying to fling it at you, I just wanted to show it to you, because…" she cut herself off, there really was no good reason why she wanted to show him the snake. She had just wanted to see if his fear was real. She had wanted to see if he had told her the truth, if he had really trusted her with his fear.

"I believe that this answers your question from the other night. My fear of snakes is genuine." He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "After being in the army," he sighed, "One would believe that fear would have vanished."

Shannon didn't know what else she should say to him. She had apologized, but she still felt horrible. She hated seeing that fear in his eyes. When she looked at him now, the faraway look was back.

"It is my brother's fault," he began softly. "He had a habit of placing snakes in my bed so they would be able to crawl onto me while I slept. A few of the snakes liked to bite. I was lucky he was unable to find any poisonous ones."

Her eyes widened in shock. She had thought Boone was a pain for a brother, but he had never been that mean to her. His cruelty was more of the verbal kind.

"Brothers are worthless." She saw the sadness in his eyes. "Do you miss him?"

"Yes," he said, his voice choked with emotion. "He was murdered ten years ago." His eyes shone with unshed tears.

Shannon wasn't sure how to react, what the correct response was to something like that. Tentatively, she reached out and brushed his hair behind his ear, allowing her fingers to brush against his cheek. He didn't say anything else, and she didn't push him to. She was grateful that he shared anything with her.

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

He offered her a small smile. "You do not need to apologize anymore. I had not thought of him in a long time," he said sadly. "It was time that I did." He stood, "I believe we should head back to camp."

She nodded in agreement as she stood as well, brushing the dirt off her shorts. She knew that they wouldn't talk much on the walk back; Sayid seemed to be too lost in his thoughts. As they walked, she chewed on her lip thinking about a way to comfort him.

Shannon took a deep breath and then slipped her hand into his, squeezing it gently for support. To her surprise, he didn't pull away.

The end 


End file.
